Lessons Learned from the Carnival Triumph

A Few Cruise Packing Must-Haves

From the non-stop television coverage of the recent nightmarish Carnival Triumph cruise, one quickly realized that the passengers on-board just weren't prepared. They obviously hadn't packed the right stuff.

To help those Triumph cruisers plan for that free cruise Carnival is giving them (and perhaps help prepare others for an "Anything Can Happen" cruise), we've put together a list of must-haves to pack.

The Prepared for Anything Cruise Packing List

1. Lots of granola and/or diet bars and a couple of cans of SPAM. (The SPAM is really not for eating. It's for selling. Think of the big bucks you can make on Day 3 of eating nothing but cucumber sandwiches.)
2. Clorox wipes...packages and packages of wipes. You'll need them to wipe down everything you touch, especially the sewage on the walls.
3. Two or three super sized bottles of sanitizers.(No need to explain why you need these.)
4. Rope, duck tape, and a bed sheet (preferably white.) You'll need these in case you have to build your own tent if sleeping on the deck.
5. Extra cell phone batteries, or better yet, a Sat-phone. You'll want to contact the outside world or perhaps call CNN with news updates.
6. Checkers, dominoes, a board game and a mammoth flashlight. This way you'll have your own G-rated in-the-dark entertainment.
7. A pair of stylish rubber boots. If you have to walk thru poo, at least you'll look good doing it.
8. A not-in-your-phone camera with lots of SD cards. You'll want to take picture after picture, and, of course, sell them to the media when you dock. Or you might want to use those photos for your "I Survived the Cruise from Hell" tell-all book.
9. Colored markers. These will come in handy for that SOS sign to hang on the ship's side. (This is where you can use that extra sheet you packed.)
10. And disposable masks and a couple dozen of your own red bio-hazard bags. (You just can't be too prepared on a stinky, plumbing-doesn't-work cruise.)

But most importantly, should you ever find yourself on a miserable, Triumph nightmare cruise, remember your sense of humor. After all, thousands of other people are literally in the same boat.